"If anyone here has any reason why these two should not be joined together, let him speak now or forever remain silent"
....The priest had barely concluded his words before we heard the doors yawned open paving the way for this tall, dark-skinned, fine looking young man, dressed in a nicely cut grey suit. The knocks of his shoe heels on the floor was all that was to be heard in the auditorium, as the whole place had gone dead silent on his appearance.
Startled by this scene, and confused by the thought of trying to reason out what exactly was going on, the priest could at best draw out his white handkerchief from the pocket of his robe as he wiped his face severally as if to say, every one wipe made him see better.
For all those minutes it took this man to make his way up the alter, I understood better the meaning of the medical term "SHOCK".
The bride, you mean what was happening to her? I fear we don't go there, she had gone past the stage of something happening to her, at the moment she had been "Happened to" already. If one will judge the atmospheric condition by the virtue of the number of shakes per seconds displayed by the bride, one should have no doubt believing we were in Moscow and the winter has been blowing heavily.
A quick look at the groom revealed nothing but anxiety. Within 60-seconds, he had slackened and re-adjusted his tie almost 12-times. I've never seen a face so ruffled. At that time, this young man was wearing what I'll call the "World Most Ruffled Face". Both his fists as i observed at the time had been folded, it was glaring he had hanging somewhere in his options, a cold blooded wrestle/fight.
Back to Jaiye, oh pardon me, I never told you his name.
Jaiye made his way down to the alter amidst overwhelming confusion wrapped in grave silence. Not one man could utter a word, obviously this movie began to look like ending as a one man show.
"Who are you youngman?" (Alas, a courageous sentence from the priest broke the silence).
And what exactly are you here for?
I'm here in response to your call made earlier about a reason why these two should not be joined together. Sir, I've got just one question to put to you, and this esteemed audience, and that'll be all. (Jaiye spoke with such confidence, he became more threatening speaking than he was walking up the altar).
By this time, both the bride and her super-hero looking groom had gone numb, they were worse than vegetables.
Right there where I sat, I whispered to myself, saying; "This is the best wedding ceremony I ever attended". Call me a devil, I wouldn't mind, but I've grown sick of attending dry-one-way wedding ceremonies. I was glad to hear recently that an American Rock star by the name Avril Lavaigne got wedded in a black dress/gown, defying the odds and norms of the usual white garment worn by ladies. (Am not about what's right or wrong here, rather breaking silly folk lores that hold no water. Like how does that blue, red, white, black, indigo, fuchsia-pink apparel you'll die for, impact your marriage and its afterwards?)
It baffled me always to hear the preacher/priest utter those lines; ("If anyone here has any reason why these two should not be joined together, let him speak now or forever remain silent"), and we see no one walking down the corridor or raising their hands to respond to this call.
Could it be that no one present there has a reason or two why they should not be joined together as man and wife?
Could it be that everyone getting married are saints and have done it all right in the build up to getting a spouse?
Could it be that there has been some bribing and settlements done earlier/in time to avoid anyone speaking up in objection to the marriage on the D-day?
Could it just be that a peaceful and objection free wedding ceremony is one between two people who "CLEARED THEIR LOGS" perfectly???
*********DEEP SIGH***********
(Now its yours for the thinking.)

.....Alright, you may speak. (Said the priest, in response to Jaiye's 'speech')
(Jaiye now speaking) : Sir, I need to get something right here, did you say earlier that; "If anyone HERE has any reason why these two should not be joined together, let him speak now or forever remain silent"?
(Priest now speaking): Yes, I did, you heard aright.
(Jaiye now speaking): Fine, thank you Sir, I'll also as a matter of urgency and importance want to know if that word "HERE" covers both the auditorium and outside it, because outside there stands one man presently being restricted from gaining access into this auditorium by security personnels, he claims he has a million and one reasons why these two should not be joined together.
(That sentence did not end before the bride collapsed to the ground and lost consciousness).
(As if that was not enough),
Jaiye continued thus;
Also, there is another man here on hold(he brings out his mobile phone from out of his breast pocket) who claims to have reasons why this wedding cannot progress beyond this stage.
(Now it was the turn of both the Groom and one of the officiating ministers to slump under the shock).
A CONSPIRACY??? maybe?
Getting married? You Should Read This!
Your Take On This, Let See. (Drop Your Comments)
Want More Of These Pieces?...Then Watch This Space!
Its The Wordsmith™
(C) 2013.


  1. Owonla Khalid08:42

    This guy is crazy! What goes on in your head bro?
    Nice one, nice storyline, nicely packaged and delivered.
    I got the message.
    You must continue dis one o!

  2. Oluwasijibomi08:50

    Best I read in recent time. Watched it like a movie in my head

    1. Am telling you..... E be like Film. Captivating..will make a good story...... Lovely and Exciting. Pictured it in my head

  3. Me too oooo. Like the plot.Posting the link now on facebook ; you berra complete it oooo

  4. Olayinka09:15

    I so love the plot of this story!
    I just hope the girl is not the only guilty party here, this one that its only men calling in?

  5. Lolugr809:21

    A superb write-up bro..........I got the message but try break the suspence by completing the story.

  6. kemmY09:41

    Yeah!!! Interesting write up,but U̶̲̥̅̊ ve to complete d story, its vry necessary

  7. '' this is the best wedding i have ever attended, call me a devil'' i love that line.....weddings now adays are dry, looks like a bit of conspiracy,.... a captivating piece though, u need to finish this up bro.....bravo

  8. Loyeh09:58

    Buhahahahahahahaha...can't imagine d scene! Definitely d best wedding ever, if neither d groom nor d bride is one of my siblings...Lmao

  9. nike10:31

    U are a fabulous writer! We would love to knw the "million and one reasons".

  10. Anonymous11:07

    Nice 1, please let's see the conclusion

  11. You're one click away from the continuing episode of this piece. Click "Home" to view part 2.

  12. inspirizu21:28

    I hate it wen people re so gullible like this, can dis happens exactly like dis in naija?
    The guy would have been beaten blue black before getting to the alter....
    Nice story but poor fiction!

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