Questioning and fact finding are an inseparable duo. If any would make anything out of an endeavor, they must be ready and willing to ask questions.
Observing a wearying trend, I found out that many now do not ask questions as it was obtainable in the past.
Could it be that everyone now knows?
Could it be a matter of shyness?
Could it be a function of pride/self esteem?
Or that we are not skilled or have not mastered the art of questioning?
We'll set the ball of this discourse rolling from hence. To tackle correctly and convincingly the issue before us, there's a need to get personal, and factual, directing the afore questions to yourself.
Putting simply; "Why Do I or Don't I Ask Questions?"
General sampling revealed that people do not ask questions for the following reasons, and utmost amongst these reasons is;
1) Fear Of Revealing They Are Naïve:
More often than not, we shy away from asking questions because we cannot stand anyone knowing that we do not know. This condition is one that requires a psychological rehabilitation. In more cases than not, pride is the 'Pathogen' troubling the knowledge-stream of the 'sufferer'. I have carefully used those words to depict a condition of illness, for not knowing and suffering loses for not wanting people to know you don't know, is an abnormal-sick state to be in.
2) Being Shy:
A handful of people fall into this category, though not as much as in the first category, the statistics here is considerably high. Have you ever seen a person so shy? Yes I believe, they are a common factor around us. Some people are so shy they can hardly ask for their way out of a lion's den, they'll rather die. Such height of shyness emanates from low self esteem and stage fright amongst other culpable conditions. To this class of people I've got nothing but a feeling of empathy. They wish they could damn it all to hell and ask, they wish the could just break the silence and say something, but no, their mind wiring will not let it be.
Hello shy one, you've suffered much for being shy, please speak out, speak up, its not going to hurt. Overcoming your fear for public speaking is one vital step you must take on the road of becoming who you were meant to be. Attaining your full potentials will only be possible when you ask questions that lead you to the knowing of what you don't but need to know.
3)Deficiency In The Art of Questioning:
Questioning is an art, and it requires skill. Asking a good question is tantamount to getting a good answer, for a question properly asked, provides enough clarity to earn a proper answer.
This condition is a more general condition than the previous two discussed. Many can ask questions, in fact a million more can ask from something to anything in their quest to know. The point we get it all wrong is in packaging a proper (call it intelligent) question that'll return to us the right answers. More often than not we ask questions and never get the right answers, we never get satisfaction from the answers provided. Its not as though the sources of such answers are short of providing the answers we seek, but our questions most times are not well asked. Here our questioning skill and prowess comes to play.
How Then Can I Get Help, How Can I Ask Good Questions??? (I bet someone is asking)
There are keys to asking open-minded and informed questions that will not only help the questioner, but others too. To ask brilliant, profitable questions, you must be able o first;
EXPLAIN YOUR MISUNDERSTANDING:
Your misunderstanding might have been as a result of not paying close attention, but you must be able to hide it. For instance, if in a gathering or a symposium and you have fallen short of listening attentively but still will love to catch up or learn what you might have lost, there are questions that can help retract your loss. Using the following sentences will help:
-"I'm sorry, I think I misheard you..."
-"I'm a bit unclear with that explanation..."
-"I think I might have missed something while I was taking my notes"
STATE WHAT YOU KNOW AND DON'T:
You sure don't want to appear stupid, but still you don't know and need to know. In most cases you know atleast something about the subject matter (even if its just to read the title/name out loud again). State something that you do know about the subject matter, this will make you look smarter than you actually are at that point.
E.g : "I understand that questioning requires speech and gesticulation, but.....?"
Having stated what you know, go ahead to state what you don't.
E.g : "But I'm unclear on what other things are required..."
DISPLAY A GOOD ATTITUDE TO KNOW:
Very import amongst the qualities of a good question and its questioner is the intention it carries and message it sends to whoever the question is being directed to. A question carrying a poor/nonchalant attitude will often not get answered or answered carelessly, and this is detrimental to the knowledge seeker.
Avoid sarcasm while trying to ask questions or gain more knowledge about a thing. This little point, though appearing inconsequential, has had grievous effects on various facets of our lives, viz; Relationships, Religion, Education, Social Development etc.
It is at this point that a vital question pops it head i.e "WHY DO I ASK WHAT I DO?"
What is it that prompts your next question, is it a quest to know, sarcasm, a wanting to say something, or share inquisitiveness that bears no genuine purpose?
We must be able to draw defining lines on our actions. Its important!
Did I tell you ladies and men alike always want to know how interested you are in their answers? Oh pardon me, they really and always are.
EMPLOY A BIT OF PSYCHOLOGY:
You can't afford to be totally ignorant of some vital articles of the one you're questioning. His/Her emotions, state of mind, concentration level, sincerity, Knowledge amongst other things.
The barrier of general observation must be crossed to get optimum results here.
Notwithstanding, your little surface observation will do much. The concentration level of a person for instance will go a long way to determine if you would be getting answers you can trust or just some answers by the way. The mood of the one to provide answers to your question cannot be undermined. Humans are more disposed to offering responses according to their moods and state of mind. Our knowledge base and perspective to which we see too plays a significant role in what we offer. Hence a questioner who wants to get the best out of his/her source of answers must put all these factors into consideration.
Questions cut across various aspects of our lives, so when asking your next question, be alert, alive and sensitive.
A Yoruba proverbs says and I quote (having translated in English); "The One Who Asks For Directions Never Misses His Way". Behold one of my native Yoruba quotes that I hold in high regards. I have made this a watchword all my life, though not without a modification as usual of me. Here is how I figure it;
"The One Who Asks For Directions From The One Who Knows, Never Misses His Way" -TW™
Pardon me if I have altered the sayings of our fathers, but I remain confident of their wisdom that they meant to put it this way.
The art of questioning is what made heroes out of heroes. They strove to know (In most cases) just one thing others didn't. Had they remained in their ignorance, for whatever reasons that may be, they would not not become what they are today or became in the past.
Many forces wage war against true knowledge, but strongest and most dangerous amongst them is ASSUMPTION.
"Assumption is the act of taking for granted or supposing a thing without proof."
I was not surprised when I looked up assumption in the dictionary, and found amongst its 4-meanings therein, ARROGANCE.
Surprised? No don't be, another definition for ASSUMPTION IS ARROGANCE.
Arrogance is that thing that makes us assume we know when actually we don't. At this junction, let us take heed and beware of this arrogance.
"What You Don't Know, You Don't know, and When You Don't Know, You Ask." -TW™
Did I also remember to warn you about a few things?
Please pardon me again, I just wanted to drop this quick and light one;
"Don't assume he/she loves you, Don't assume they'll say or have said yes." ASK, ASK, do ASK.
No matter what people has made it seem like, till present, there still is no harm in asking, as much as you do it right. Even the good Book in Matthew 7 vs 7 recounts;
"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you..."
Never again should you suffer in ignorance, never again should you wallow in the murky waters of arrogance that breeds foolishness, ...DARE TO ASK!!!
I published this post only a day before the much anticipated 'St Valentine's Day', and it just could be exactly what you need. Like every one article from my stables, I recommend this for your reading pleasure. If anything at all, I'm cock sure this is good for now and beyond.
Thanks for reading.
Its The wordsmith™
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