WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED? THAT ANNOYING QUESTION FACED BY MANY YOUNG NIGERIAN WOMEN
MY beautiful friend and co - blogger Omowumi Agbonjinmi has poured her heart in this fact-finding, truth-chasing, mind blowing piece. Call her a feminist and you won't incure her wrath one bit.
Not new to the game, Wumi has got a collection of explosive articles on her blog;
Meanwhile, have a taste of this:
WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED?
THAT ANNOYING QUESTION FACED BY MANY YOUNG NIGERIAN WOMEN
That annoying pressure on women to get married NOW!
When a young woman in this country finishes her university education (if she’s privileged), she is expected to just go and get married. I have always wondered why? Many answers come to mind from the many reasons people cite to get young ladies married off as if that is the whole essence of their lives or the purpose of their existence.Or simple type in your mobile browser;
From research and experience, I have gathered many unbelievable and hilarious reasons why women must get married off early in life. One of the reasons is that women are like flowers; they blossom early, and then wither away so fast. Another one is that women don’t get younger as if men do grow younger, or that there is a short time frame for giving birth, or that early child bearing is the best or that giving birth to all your children one time so you can have time for other things as if you couldn’t do it vice versa, or that the sun sets too fast for women and so on and so forth. Can you believe how crazy these reasons are?
Now, there are many other equally disgusting reasons why women are ‘pressured’ to go into marriage they would rather not go for, had they any other choice. While growing up as a teenager, I have always been surrounded by stories of ladies been told to get married at a certain age, or nasty gossips about those who are yet to hop on the marriage wagon. I had never imagined how a lady could be so pressured into marriage, I just thought the forced ladies were just reading too much meaning into their situation or reading too much into what people surrounding them say.
Until recently, it seemed it’s my turn to start feeling such pressure. Interestingly, this pressure comes from both within your immediate close circle and external circles as well. I also find it both interesting and annoying at the same time how someone who’s not even your friend will be obligated to lecture you on why you should get married soon.
Apart from my mother who would constantly chirp in some funny and annoying little remarks on how prepared she is for your wedding, or even the wedding theme she’s decided upon when you don’t even have a good paying job, or self-sufficient.
An example is like a long lost acquaintance, which you haven’t seen in at least ten years, sees you one day and start asking you when you’re sending her an invitation for your wedding to her. Despite the fact that you have absolutely nothing in common and in fact, when you do decide to get married, she will not make the list of invited guests to your wedding, yet, she feels obligated to ask when you’re getting married, she does not question you about your career or what you’re working on at present, the most important piece of information that will make her happy with your awkward meeting is to know when you’re getting married.
It doesn’t stop there, your age mates who are about to get married, or even already married, they dish you series of unsolicited advice on why you shouldn’t delay your wedding at all, despite the fact that you can see clearly your friend isn’t so better off now that she’s ‘happily’ married. In fact, her life isn’t a perfect marital bliss, she would certainly not show you her skeleton in the cupboard, she’ll just sugar coat her life for you to see when you know for certain that there’s nothing like a perfect marriage.
Then you have the category of men who have absolutely no respect for single ladies. They feel obligated to feel sorry for them and in their made up rigid, narrow mind, the single successful lady isn’t fulfilled or happy because she isn’t married. So if I’m to go along with their line of thinking, a lady isn’t happy until she has a man in her life or she can’t be fulfilled unless there’s certainly a man in her life. The list goes on and on. The society, family, relations, religion all add up to....... (Visit Wumi's red - diary to read the concluding paragraphs)