Skip to main content

"SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER REMAIN SILENT 2" (The Wedding Day Brouhaha)

......By popular demand, sequel to my last post "Speak Now Or Forever Remain Silent", I bring to you the continuing episode of what went down the day.
I want to seize this opportunity to thank my fans and blog readers for their followership, support, encouragements and sometimes critiques. Without you, there's no Wordsmith™.
.
.
.
...I could not laugh enough on the day. In a funny twist of events, don't forget we already have 3-bodies lying on the altar. I adjusted my sit properly, and told myself "Not one scene of this will I miss out on".
Every man for his kind, the priest had ignored both bride and groom and reached out to revive his ailing colleague, fanning air to his face with the programme outline in his hands.
Both parents also took to the alter, seeing the selfish gesture of the priest, each taking to the direction of their wards (Grooms parent to groom, and Bride's to the bride) everyone battling to resuscitate their own.
With the priest and his reverend friend now standing, both the bride and groom now finally restored, and Jaiye still in front of them, it was now time to release the caller from hold to hear what he has got to say.
(Phone Unheld, a voice began to speak on the call) :
"See, you Yemi, I know you can hear me, I don't know what you think you're trying to do. But if you think, you can go ahead to give another man my child just because you want to get married, you're a joker!
Tell your pastor, priest or whoever is joining you to that man that, he'll be conducting another session for us by 12noon when am around, am on my way to Lagos, we'll see." (Cuts the phone).
(Errrrhhhm, am not a devil, but u know, can we have more of such weddings? *Whew* I reiterate, this is the most interesting wedding ceremony I have ever attended.)
With this magnitude of confusion and cloud of uncertainties everywhere, Yemi was set for another slump, but this time she was quickly caught by Sola her groom. "No o, you cannot collapse now, not until you have explained what that was all about, better start talking already." (he said as he prevented her from hitting the ground.)

(I bet, you don't want to know how many people were by that time now left in the auditorium. Well, surprisingly, more people had developed a hunger for this drama and will rather see its end than leave prematurely.)
Just as the drama was playing out on stage(the altar), Jaiye took his leave as he headed for the exit door, leaving the priest and audience astonished at his role in all of this, as the all turned to watch him leave the auditorium.

All hell broke loose just as Jaiye placed his hands on the door handle. The said man(the one restricted by security personnels in the first episode) broke in throwing him off the door, while the security officials trooped in chasing after this "George" (an exquisite wrapper tied by natives from a particular tribe in Nigeria) tying man from behind. In a sequence that featured; Jaiye now trampled on the ground, The Man pacing to the pulpit, Security officials coming after him, and then the man's kinsmen brandishing their weaponry(in that order).
"Which wedding?, "God go punish all of una", You (pointing to the groom) "Thunder go fire you for dia today". (The man who broke in, spoke with utter aggression, obvious irritation and vivid hatred as he headed for the altar).
By this time, those who lacked the grace to withstand such height of hullabaloo had started escaping out of the auditorium in twos and threes. Replacing them was a mass who followed in from the street, hungry to feed their eyes.
Security! Security! The priest yelled, calling for help as this livid and enraged man drew ever nearer to the altar.
Soon the podium was empty, officiating ministers had taken cover behind the curtains, and the priest himself missing already to God knows where. (Who wouldn't? Seeing a Niger Delta man and his clan wielding a machetes). Apologies to the Niger Deltans, just telling you what went down on the day.
Had he been there alone, maybe he would have been over powered and then maybe the wedding would have continued, but this man had arranged a high-powered delegation to come down there with him, each one with their sticks and machetes.
"Scatter dem, which wedding, for wia, dem dey mad"
Naso dem dey give person belle com marry another person for lagos? Make I meet you for dia, God go punish today" (The man spoke in conc pidgin english). As he went straight for the kill this time, aiming directly at Sola, who without much consideration used the nearest window exit, taking to his heels as he made his way out of the place.
From the start of this, I had promised myself that a scene of this I will not miss. Not relenting on my promise, I followed out through the nearest exit to see Shola empty himself into his waiting jeep, beautifully branded "JUST WEDDED" and I watched as he sped off in a Michael Schumacher of the formular one fame like fashion.
What a day, what a "Wierdy Ceremony".
Morale : Man/Woman, CLEAR YOUR LOGS, clear them well before you walk down that aisle!
Weddings are envisaged to get more interesting in the coming dispensation,
Save us the impending Trago-comedy.

To be continued maybe?

Its The Wordsmith™
(C) 2013.
+2348034780274




Comments

  1. The plot was cut too short;there could have xtill been a way where more character's could have been included.â„“̊ also think Sola shouldn't have been allowed to flee the Scene Until we hear all the cockroaches in their cupboard. â„“̊ also think another twist could have been added to the story ; whereby we see another not ready to let go off sole like that.
    All in all Good story ; But â„“̊ would love to read more with Deep suspense ;it helps to keep the reader's imagination salivating and wanting more.
    Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice charge Yimmie. But guess what? Its only a "Continuing Episode" with a Professor-X like (X-men) ending. Am sure u'll want to know who Sola knocks down as he speeds off.
      Let's ease the reading pressure here tho. *winks*
      Thanks!

      Delete
  2. Anonymous12:42

    Hahahahahahahha, LMAO. On a second thought, a good lesson you pointed out. I'm sure both sides didn't find it funny @ all.
    As always, good 1 man.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oluwaseun12:49

    Gosh! I didn't see this coming, I didn't see it turning out this way.
    Ashey na dem two get skeleton inside cupboard. Hahahahahahaha.
    I love this!

    ReplyDelete
  4. No body holy pass. On my wedding day, they should not ask that Question . Any1 who wants the wedding to stop will be given ther grace of 2weeks b4 d wedding. In short, I will do a lowkey wedding. Getting married in my country is fast becoming an entertainment ground.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Got logs to clear?
      Clear them now, that question is as good as eternal, you won't escape it. *Cackles*.

      Delete
  5. eniolayemisi16:13

    Good story dear! U've got one more follower

    ReplyDelete
  6. Kehinde Grace20:57

    Na wa o,Laff will not kill somebody.Birds of a feather,Lyk Groom lyk bride, they should face d consequences. Nice write up........... What next????????

    ReplyDelete
  7. Bravo bro......thanks for this nice and entertaining piece, really waiting to read the next episode though......gracias........

    ReplyDelete
  8. Gracias! Gracias!
    Everyone is warmly acknowledged and appreciated. Keeping wathing this space.
    Available on the blog also are older inspiring, exciting and thought provoking articles on the blog. Just Click "Home".
    Thanks!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

That (il)legal Tender.

"A huge number of humans have their Truth-Reserve/account either fat or static. We rarely withdraw nor spend from it, and will rather run life's transactions with that (il)legal tender, LIES". -TW™ Its not so amazing today how accepted, tolerated, and infact enjoyed (in the actual sense) lies are. Little wonder I chose to coin it as "(il)legal Tender". Illegal tender in every sense of it, yet legal tender judging by the widespread acceptance and employment of it. Why Account? Account owing to the fact that we know the truth, identify it, gather it, but yet fail to employ it, resulting to a mere build up (Account/Reserve) in our hearts, while refusing to spend/transact with it. Note: Truth spent yields even more dividends that truth stored. Why Lie? The "cover my/your arse" mentality/syndrome has taken the good-life over from us, I wonder why on God's earth we left our arses open in the first place, and who told us lies truly covers anyone'

"Meanings Make The Man, His Definitions Define Him"

"Its difficult, if not impossible to respond beyond your heart". How do I mean? "Your conceived, derived and/or imbibed idea of thing, defines your attitude towards it"-TW™ You've always wondered why you act the way you do, react the way you do, or respond to things the way you do. Hey, am not talking temperaments here, the boss (Tim Lahaye) already did, and he "took it to the cleaners'. Even in deceit, its a hard thing to behave/respond to a thing beyond what you think about it, know about it, and the values you have placed on it. Catching a golden mug falling directly towards your head for example is a scenario that captures correctly an aspect of my discourse. There exist a couple of options to this, and believe me, every man could respond differently to this situation. One of the responses to expect, which I know you know already is; Catching the mug, preventing it from hitting your head or even the fall. Another response would be; completely do

You Didn't Deserve To Die, I Didn't Deserve Your Life.

"Though you knew the world won't receive you, you still gave your life to try. Wonderful Jesus, how can I fathom you!" -TW™ What a burden you chose to carry, what a load of Sin. Without my burden, you rode on a donkey, with mine and the whole world's upon you, you decided walking on your feet was better. What manner of man are you? You saw us kill you, yet you allowed it, for you, anything will do, just as long as it'll please the Father. The bruises and the stripes alone was good enough, if it was just about the shedding of blood, you gave it in good quantity through the torture suffered in the hands of the Roman soldiers, you really did not need to die. This was more, this was great, in fact, "Greater love than this no man can give". You paid it all, you laid your life, you paid the ultimate price that I might live. Rejected and abandoned, yet all you saw was me. Disgraced, crucified and killed for a crime you had no hand in, yet all you saw w